Come with me and discover a fascinating Woman, a Mistress out of the ordinary, a real Dominatrix and Goddess.

What is domination for Goddess Alexia?

Domination is a fantasy world, it is mind release.

For me, Domination is my profession as well as my lifestyle.  I enjoy the fetish scene so much that for me it is sheer pleasure to be part of it, to see how I am enriching the life of my worshippers and to share all the excitement that I create for them.  It is especially rewarding when my worshippers come to me and thank me for changing their lives, for waking them up and giving them something to look forward to.   As one of them told me, I gave him back his zest for life!

Domination is also balance.  I restore  balance to some of my clients who are very dominant in their normal life and so need to have a mind-relieving change.  When they enter my fantasy world of domination it is I who am in charge, and this gives them a more balanced life.

Domination is a form of art.  To me every person is unique and to interact with them is to create something completely new, like painting a new picture.  My canvas is their mind, and my interaction with their mind is what I am depicting, which is endlessly interesting and exciting both for me and for them.

For me, Domination is also the discovery of new means of pleasure.  The pleasure comes from creating different relationships between the Goddess and her worshippers, giving their minds a perfect balance and having a positive influence on them, keeping them excited, alive and  I would even say more developed, because I have widened their horizons.

We all have a fetish, what is Goddess Alexia’s fetish?

My main fetish is Goddess Worship.  This has been a continuing fetish for many years.  Goddess fetish is what I like and I include it in every professional session and in my private life, as when I go out partying.  I like the whole surrender, being worshipped;  keeping a worshipper under my spell and getting into his mind is my kink.

Showing my worshippers my fantasy world where they can adore me has been, and always will be, my strongest fetish.

If you want to know more about Goddess Alexia’s fantasy world, her fetishes and adventures, do not miss the next part of this interview where Goddess Alexia will reveal what makes a good Dominatrix and tell us some of her most intimate thoughts and secrets.

“A beginner’s guide to pegging”

In 2001 Dan Savage, irreverent sex and relationships advice columnist from Seattle’s The Stranger, ran a competition to name the sexual practice where a woman anally penetrates a man with a strap-on dildo. Other front-runners included bobbing and punting, but it was pegging that crossed the line first in the end.  As it were.

Naming gives legitimacy, and perhaps because of this, hetero strap-on-sex is  becoming more widely talked about, if not more widely practised.  Pegging features in a storyline of the television series Weeds and the lyrics of the Peaches song Back it up, boys.

There is no right or wrong way to have sex, and no step-by-step guide will get you where you want to go all the time.  Its always about figuring out what’s right for both of you at the time.

Three common questions

Is pegging female domination?

Pegging is as much about domination and submission as any sex – it depends on what you both want.  There are ways to peg where the woman is in control, where the man is in control and where control is shared equally.  For example, when the man is on top, he can control the speed and angle of penetration.

My Favourite Strap On Simple But Usefull

 Why would a man want to be pegged?

Pure physical sensation is a common reason.  Pegging is an excellent way to stimulate the prostate gland, which can be hard to reach with fingers alone.  Other men are specifically looking to be dominated,  and still others just want to try something new and different.  Pegging can also be a compelling exercise of trust and intimacy that couples fine communicates more than words.

 If a guy wants to be pegged, doesn’t that mean he’s gay?

 Being gay means wanting to have a emotional or physical relationship with another man.  It has nothing to do with having something up your bottom.

Enough of that.  Lets get started.

 1. Raise the Issue.

 Your getting off lightly if he raised it first, and you replied coyly, ‘How about tonight?’  If its been kicking around in your head for a while and you don’t quite know how to knock on his back door, there are several ways to the hint without pressuring him.

  Appeal to physical pleasure

 ‘his P-spot is the male equivalent of the G-spot, and by ignoring it, he’s seriously missing out. When stimulated it can lead to really intense orgasms.  To find his P-spot, have him lie on his back,  and insert well lubed finger, palm up, almost all the way in, curve the finger in a ‘come hither’ gesture and massage firmly.’ 

-Em & Lo, EMandLO.com

 Talk equality

 ‘You know how you mentioned fancying anal sex? You’re up for receiving, too, right?’ 

 Tit-for-tat sex rather defeats the purpose of sex, but there is never any harm in pointing out that there’s a very reasonable equivalent of any other stuff that might be going down.

 Little white lies

 ‘I had a dream that I was pegging you – isn’t that crazy? It was kinda hot though.’

Always Rock Hard Ready

I have heard of a woman who produced this line in an instant messaging conversation, to which boyfriend replied, ‘that would be nice.’  Assuming that he knew what pegging was, or at least head consulted Wikipedia, they discussed this future activity, including her indicating she’d acquire  the necessary kit.  It then became evident that he’d assumed pegging was some newfangled word for regular sex.  He decide to give it a go all the same and apparently they both had a nice time.

2  Start Simple

 There’s no need to jump right into the strap-on-action.  Get some water-based lube and a few pairs of rubber gloves, and try a bit of manual prostate stimulation alongside, for example, oral sex or a hand job.

Buying rubber gloves is a science in itself, as most pharmacies only stock ‘one size’ which many women find their hands swim in.  If you ask the pharmacist if they stock a smaller size, you invariably get asked just what you want these rubber gloves for.  Points for sharing. Several online retailers sell hundred packs in any size if you want to avoid the unnecessary enquiry.

Some people like to try butt plugs or anal beads at this point too, which is entirely according to taste.

 3. Acquire your kit.

 If you both want to move on to something more exotic, you’ll need to acquire your strap-on.  Strap-ons involve two parts: harness and dildo.
<or come as an integral one piece. JL>

Good sex shops should let you try on harnesses, and you should expect to pay £30-£50.  Make sure that the harness feels comfortable, sturdy and allows the dildo to point in a direction that’s likely to be useful – cheaper harnesses may point your dildo downward which makes it harder to control.  Some harnesses have a pouch inside to add a vibrating object for extra sensation for you. <or another sort of surprise – vaginal and anal dildo for the harness wearer – extra bonus! JL>

Strap On With 3 Dildos

Dildos, sometimes called dongs, fall into a similar price range.  For first-time pegging choose a smooth-surfaced, modestly-sized  number.  In the words of one man, ‘The anus is the body’s magnifying glass: everything that goes into it appears to be twice its natural size.’

Silicone is popular for dildos because it is easy to clean, hard to damage and its very unlikely that someone will be allergic to it.  However, silicone dildos tend to be significantly more expensive.  Rubber dongs can be acquired for around £20.  Once again, make sure you’ve got enough water-based lube.  You might also find that condoms and anti-bacterial wipes make clean-up easier. <I have selected for my BDSM store latex and silicone dildos. JL>

4. Assume the position

It can be fun to put your harness on before you get right into the pegging.  This makes for a nice promise of something more intense to come as you start with lubing up and the now-familiar anal play.

Many couple find that male-on-top is the best position to start with, as having no sensation in the operative part makes controlling placement more difficult for the woman.  If you do want to go for something where you have complete control, a doggy style position might be better.  Bending him over the side of the bed from kneeling can be good if you’re worried about knocking him over with enthusiasm.

Make sure the dildo and his arsehole are well lubed, and place the head squarely against his pucker, apply gentle pressure or let him press back against the dildo at his own speed.  Once the dildo enters into him about a inch or so, pause and let him get used to the feeling.

From anal play you will hopefully got a feeling for what kind of sensations your man likes, and should be able to peg in a way that is consistent with that.  For example, some people strongly prefer the pushing in over the pulling out sensation, in which case you can just thrust forward continually, rather than pulling out and then pushing in.  A ‘reach around’ may be helpful too:

Reach around. N. The act of masturbating a sexual partner, usually while simultaneously performing another sexual act from behind, such as doggy-style or anal sex, or spooning.

As with any sexual activity, the key is to communicate continually about what is and isn’t working, as well as paying attention to his reactions, movements and the sounds he makes  Talk, talk and talk some more.

Further information

 http://www.take-it-like-a-man.com/
Approaches strap-on sex as if it were an act of domination, but contains useful ‘how to’ advice

Bend over boyfriend
Instructional DVD featuring sex educators  Carole Queen and Robert Morgan, Us $34.95
http://www.fatalemedia.com/

Bendoverboyfriend.tumblr.com
Photoblog of pegging and women wearing strap-ons

 As soon as I crossed the door I realized this was no ordinary party.  The ambiance was so relaxed with people lying down drinking and talking on the sofas, couples kissing and caressing on tables and any other piece of furniture they could find available.  There were two bedrooms, both of them with King size beds with a tangle of arms and legs, bare butts and tits.  One of my friends, a porn star, went in the bedroom, took his clothes off and walked in the living room stark naked showing why he is considered such a star in the porn business.  Everybody seemed to be in a haze, minding their own business.  Tiredly I lay down on a sofa and a handsome painter brought me a drink while my slave “memoire de poisson” –who had come with me to the party-, gave me a foot massage.   

 At a point when I was waiting for the toilet a 6’ tall black man approached me asking me to make him my slave.  “Make me your slave madam, look at me I am black I was born to be a slave, humiliate me, use me, hit me” he said to me with a grave voice.  He was so big and tall that my first reaction was fear.  In a world of political correctness a black man was asking me to treat him as my slave because he was black!  After my initial surprise I slapped him hard and told him that a slave never approaches a Mistress that way.  He went down on his knees begging for forgiveness.  I slapped him again and ordered him to clean and prepare the toilet before I could use it.  He did as ordered and then disappeared for the night.  

Among that surrealistic picture I saw Joanna mischievously smiling at me.  She was holding something in her hands, and like she is always doing with me, she teased me to follow her and try on her new toy.   “What is this” I asked her.  “Your new toy my sister sinister” she answered with a naughty look.  “Close your eyes, stand up straight, open your legs and let me show you” she added.  I closed my eyes and felt her hands tying something around my waist, passing belts between my legs and tying the whole thing tightly. 

When I opened my eyes I couldn’t believe I had a strap-on fitted on me, ready to be used on whoever I fancied.  This was Joanna’s present, she knew that I had been wanting to wear one ever since we visited Floozie me.  I wasn’t ready at the time, but Joanna judged that I was ready now.  She wasn’t wrong, I felt a flush or heat invading me thinking about using my strap on.  It looked and felt great.  I turned round and found a timid girl who had been following me all night, admiring me, caressing me softly, just wanting to be near me.  I looked at her and on a whim ordered her to suck me.  She went on her knees and started sucking me, slowly at the start and steadily more vigorous.  I was so excited, I could hardly stand straight, she was now almost begging me to use it on her and I couldn’t wait to give it full use. 

Whatever happened after, will always remain between my strap-on and me…

The evening started early when at 7 o’clock my new wannabe slave “memoire de poisson” arrived at the door ready to drive me to the Munch venue. All that Joanna had told me was that there was not a strict dress code for the Munch; so I just wore a leather mini skirt with matching leather bra and a red cashmere cardigan on top. All and all, I looked quite serious, or maybe I should say, seriously dangerous…

The London Munch was held at an open bar where the basement had been reserved for the Munchers. I found it an incredibly turn on to arrive all dressed in black leather and red cashmere at the bar, men and women turning in awe to look at me, followed closely by my slave opening doors and holding my handbag and taking care of my every step. I rarely feel so powerful and excited but having all the eyes in the pub fixed on me, admiring me and wishing they could get closer had an incredible impact on me. I must be an exhibitionist deep down, because every time I am in a similar situation I feel the heat between my legs mounting and expanding through all my body. It is such a lovely warmth and feeling of power that I really look forwards to it nowadays.

The Munch was populated with an eclectic group of people, ranging from young people in jeans and t shirts to gorgeous women dressed up in lovely corsets. As soon as I arrived I found Joanna at the bar. How could I miss her, always so powerfully gorgeous and surrounded by a group of her subs; wannabe slaves and Masters? The ambiance was very friendly; Joanna introduced me to several of her friends, all of them very interesting people to talk to. It was there that I met a Master friend of Joanna. He was a fascinating character and was delighted to answer all my questions. He didn’t mind spending the evening explaining me, a newbie to the London scene, all the things I was curious about.

From that night on, a question that he asked me has stuck in mind. He asked me, why I am getting involved in the London Fetish scene; is it for love or money? My answer was, and still is, for love. Yes, because I am enjoying so much discovering this new side of me and this new view of the world that I wouldn’t like to be anywhere else at the moment. I do it for love, because allowing myself to enter the scene has opened up a whole new horizon. I can see how in everyday life I have become more assertive and more confident of. Allowing myself to explore my dominant side is opening new ways of unknown pleasure.
Yes, I do it for love!

The day after Club Pedestal I was reading a book “Training with Miss Abernathy” a present I had received the night before from one of Joanna’s subs, when I found a note with my new slaves’ phone number.  I was curious, so I sent him a message ordering him to come and pick me up immediately to entertain me.  Much to my surprise he answered my message and less than an hour later he was picking me up to give me a tour of London, taking me for lunch and to the Museum of Natural History.   I discovered that he was a very interesting person, and we had great fun “training him” in public.  He is of very good disposition but very forgetful, so I had to slap him every time he forgot something, so he would remember next time.  His forgetful disposition gained him the nickname “memoire de poisson” a French saying in reference to the short memory that fish have.

 I think that Londoners are not use to seeing a woman walking with a personal servant, as we had lots of people looking at us in shock.  I enjoyed having someone opening doors before I went in, carrying my bags, disposing of my chewing gum (in his mouth), and taking care of my every step so other people wouldn’t get to close to me. 

One of the tasks I asked “memoire the poisson” to do as part of his training was to find the most traditional couple in the museum and ask them to take a picture of us, him kneeling down in all fours while I was standing with one foot on his back.  This was to show him humility and the fact that the two of us couldn’t be at the same level but he should always be lower.  He managed to find an elderly couple and asked the man to take a picture of us in the museum’s main hall.  The gentleman accepted immediately and we went posing with me always dominating “memoire de poisson”. The gentleman was pleasantly surprised and offered to take more photos while his wife went away in disgust!  After a few demeaning photos, the gentleman gave us the camera and went to meet his wife with a smile.  The lady was so upset with him, that we heard her shouting and giving him a row for helping “those deviants”… 

But who knows, maybe I will meet them one day at the fetish party….

*  Alexia – you describe yourself as a Goddess.
Please explain: what is the difference
between a Mistress and a Goddess for you?
Why you are so unique?
A Mistress provides professional BDSM services for her clients
who pay her to do what they want -
what she does for the client is what defines her,
and ultimately the client remains in charge
no matter what role-play may be involved.
A Goddess is a dominatrix whose effect on her clients
is so profound that they no longer think about what they want,
but instead wish only to please her
- in effect they become her worshippers.
Of course, if the Goddess is pleased by them,
she may indulge them by doing what she knows they want,
but theycan never demand it.
Why am I unique?
It should really be for others to say why,
but I have learned by experience that my effect
on my clients is always powerful and often overwhelming for them!

*  Foot fetish in all characteristics is your
speciality. Why do you love these games so
much?

Under The Heel

The relationship between Goddess and her
client that I have just described is most
powerfully expressed in foot worship – the
Goddess above, the worshipper below,
with physical contact limited to just the
feet of the Goddess, but hands, lips and
tongue of the worshipper. Feet and
footwear, especially high boots, have
always symbolized power, and in
caressing, kissing and licking my shoes,
boots and feet my worshippers are
acknowledging my power over them. I find
this deeply satisfying. Of course, I love the
physical side of it too, particularly when
my feet are massaged by someone who
knows how to do it properly.

*  How long have you worked as a
Dominatrix and how did you find out that this is your way of life?
I have been working professionally in London
ever since I became adult,
and I have known from an early age that I am a dominant.
And since I love all the other aspects of my work -
the focus on feminine beauty, the clothes, the dressing up,
the role-playing, the psychology of my clients
- I cannot imagine a more attractive way to
live than just doing what I really enjoy!

*  You offer a lot of different services: from
Pony games to Bondage, from Deprivation
to Feminisation. Could you tell me if you
can observe a “must have fashion trend” of
the wishes of your clients? Or is there more
a classical hit list of preferred practices?

Every client is different, and of course they
often don’t know at first what they really want.
For instance, they may come to me
because they have fantasized about being whipped by a beautiful woman,
but really they just want to have a submissive relationship with her. 
Part of my work is to help them find out what their needs are
and, if they please me, to satisfy them.
I don’t think there is a common thread to these desires,
except insofar as the “vanilla” world has a very limited idea
of what happens in a BDSM relationship,
and so often comes up with the same set of initial ideas.

*  How should a male or female sub be set up
when he or she has a date with you?

Be prepared to be completely open and
honest, without embarrassment, about
what brings them to me. It goes without
saying that they must be clean, polite and
respectful as well!

*  In your work psychology plays an immense
role. Do you think that a good Mistress has
to be also some kind of a therapist?

A mistress who does not provide therapeutic relief for her clients
is not doing her job properly, in fact is not doing it at all.
All my clients come to me initially
because they have something lacking in
their life which I can help them to find. Not
surprisingly, it is often because they
cannot find in their marriage or other
relationship what they need in fantasy,
although the relationship may be very
successful otherwise. I know from much
experience that what I do can be
immensely helpful and wholly beneficial
for them. I know when I have succeeded
because they continue to come to me,
sometimes for many years.

* Apart from being a professional
dominatrix do you do anything else?

On The Director's Chair

Yes I have my production where I create
my own fetish videos and photos.
It requires me to be a very
 creative and inspiring person, especially
that I am an actress, director, copy writer
and on the top of that  a dominatrix
My videos and photos are accessible
via my members website

http://www.theplatinumcage.com/
*  How deep is your personal fetish for latex
clothing, because in front of the camera you
seem very satisfied with all this rubber on
your body …

I adore everything about latex except
getting into it! It makes me intensely aware
of my body, and it is tremendously sexy
without being too coarsely revealing,
although it can sometimes feel more naked
than actually being naked.  I also admit to
being thrilled by knowing the effect that it
has on other people – but then I am an
exhibitionist whether dressed in latex,
leather or any other attractive clothing …

* How can one contact you to arrange a meeting?

 The best way is to read my website first and then
 call me
 http://www.mistressalexia.com/

“Mistress, I would love to come to the Club Pedestal but

-         have no courage
-         have never been to the fetish club
-         don’t want to come alone
-         would love to keep you company but you always seem so busy”

 So I decided to create a Slave’s Kindergarten for subs
who are attending the club for the first time.
If you are truly willing to discover the London’s fetish environment
in female domination atmosphere and consider yourself
as ready to stay on all fours in public,
then I may take you “under my wings” for that special night.

And there is a special costume theme for my slave’s nursery –
this month it will be chicken outfit.
You must wear a chicken mask on May 27^th of you want to be taken under consideration.
And you must wear it proudly to entertain me! The more pathetic you look the better – we like it

I would give you the introduction to slave’s training,
teach you the basic manners and explain “how it works” there in our Female Heaven.
And if you behave yourself, I might recommend you
to some adorable Mistresses attending the party…
And if you misbehave… well – read the earlier post about the humbler!

If you have any questions, ask here or send me an email at joanna@joannalark.com

The humbler is a BDSM device that consists of a wooden bar,
the middle of which secures around the wearer’s ball sack
and locks it in place with the security mechanism.
When fitted, the bar is placed behind the sub’s legs,
thus pulling his genitals backwards.
If the wearer tries to stand while in the humbler,
intense pressure will be felt as the ball sack starts to pull further from the body.
This makes standing difficult (if not impossible)
and the most comfortable position for the sub is to be on all fours.

Our humbler, designed and made in Amsterdam,
has a very special look and is totally leather coated on the outside.
A truly special product for those who want to go a step further.

I can’t wait to use it on my new slave
he is a soldier, so he should be able to take it,
even if I order him to stand to attention…

Here is the message from Goddess Alexia:

‘I have started this campaign because I receive innumerable inquiries from individuals and couples who have discovered the world of fetish, domination and BDSM and now want to explore it in greater depth.

They may want to experience more intense and deeper relationships, understand their
own fetishes, or simply learn more about it with the help of an expert.

You will be able to ask me your most burning questions and participate in my live webinars
where your questions will be answered and suggestions given.’

 To participate go here and follow the steps
http://www.mistressalexia.com/campainask
I look forward to reading your questions
Kinky regards
Goddess Alexia”

Usually I am a nice person, I don’t like putting anyone down, I don’t like physical violence or getting involved in arguments.  My friends know me as easy going, even sweet.  I have more male friends than female ones because I feel better with male company, I appreciate my male friends and I let them know how important they are to me.  Where was all this new humiliating bitchy behaviour coming from?  That previous night I whipped, with great delight, men who I had just met and had been only courteous and gallant with me.  Why then if I liked them, did I punish and humiliate them without feeling an ounce of guilt?  Why did I find it so pleasurable to whip these men who adored me?  I couldn’t understand it and I didn’t really want to understand.  Why ruin with reasoning what was good for my flesh?

Later that day my boy called me to see how things had gone the night before.  During the conversation I asked him to do a couple of things at home for me.  He came up with excuses as to why he couldn’t do this, that or the next thing.  I don’t know how, but still sweet and loving I changed my tone and ordered him to do exactly what I had asked or else he would be the next one trying on my riding crop.  Much to my surprise, he too changed his tone and said that he would do everything I had asked and anything else I would like to ask from him.  Before hanging up, he told me that listening to me ordering him around, imagining me dressed in leather in front of him with a riding crop ready to punish him had got him so excited that he was almost bursting out of his jeans with excitement.  He couldn’t wait to see me again!

What was happening to me? Why did I react like that?  What was happening to him?  Why was he so excited at the prospect of being physically punished?  Up to now we were an ordinary couple, perhaps adventurous but not enough to cross the boundaries of BDSM.  Why had I had taken on the riding crop so easily?  Why were we so at ease and eager to enter this new world?