For a few months I had been delighted discovering my new self, the Dominatrix side of me.  I never had any doubts as to whether I was a Dom or a Sub but I was incredibly curious to see life from a sub’s perspective.  There was also the fact that I had read so many times that to be a good Mistress you really need to be empathetic, know your subs and understand their motivations.  This is how I came to think that the best way to understand a sub was to be one.   When I talked about it to Joanna, she agreed with me and had the great idea of introducing me to Master Alan, a very good friend of hers. 

Master Alan was a gentleman from the very first minute I met him. To be honest I found it difficult to understand how such a caring and loving person could be a sadistic Master.  We immediately clicked and he agreed to help me explore my submissive side (if there was one) during that weekend. 

My day as a sub girl started with a photo-training session where Master Alan introduced me to the positions a subby girl should adopt in front of her Master.  I started very nervous, I didn’t feel at ease kneeling down open legged or always keeping my eyes down, but soon Alan put me at ease and we had a fun time taking photos with some of Joanna’s collection of bondage gear for women.  I enjoyed the photo session and all the beautiful leather clothing I was wearing but I couldn’t really get into a sub girl’s frame of mind.  Alan understood this and by the end of the photo session, instead of me playing Master’s slave girl, I ended up learning how to properly use my new long leather whip on any future subs.

Chains or whips?

The weekend went by and we attended a couple of events as Master and slave girl.  Alan was a complete sweetheart but I still didn’t like at all being a subby girl.  Despite Alan’s gentleness I couldn’t get myself into a sub’s frame of mind.  It just wasn’t me.  Still I can say that I had a very productive weekend.  I learnt a whole lot of new things and I had lots of fun.  Probably more important than everything, I learnt that I was really a Dom and I could never be a sub to anyone.    

Master Alan trying to convince me...

Another very important thing I learnt during those days was that being a Master or a Mistress is not about being cruel and abusive to your subs.  A real Dom is someone who cares for her subs and respects them.  Master Alan showed me how you could be a gentleman and still be a severe Master.  Punishing your subs doesn’t always have to mean physical pain or torture.  Punishing a sub can take many different forms and one of them is withholding pleasure, teasing and denial, a form of mind game that I wasn’t aware until then, even if I had done it a few times, only now I came to understand its power. 

Me, a Subby girl?  Not really….

1) I learned that is not enough to “wanna be” something, you need to let your wish to take you and go ahead.

2) I learned that is not enough to learn something, you need to like to do it, for you could be good on it.

3) I learned that the floor of the house of Mistress Lark is not a bad place to sleep.

4) I learned that Mistress Lark is a Dominant Mistress and a natural team leader.

5) I learned that even to be a sub you need to have a healthy mind.

6) I learned that is not enough make a lot of miles to realize your fantasies if your life is a nightmare and you are lost.

7) I learned that even the Mistress like slaves that like themselves, if you don´t like yourself, which Mistress will like you?  She´ll use you, anyway, that’s her nature, if you are ok with this,  it’s your problem.

8 ) I saw for the first time people in the disco, naked, and saw for the first time people having sex in front of me for real.

9) I realized that the strange guy of this weekend probably could have been me

10) I realized that “The only normal people are the ones you don´t know very well.” (Joe Ancis)

 I keep growing to know me better.

11) I realized that I should have not misled by the cold-eyed Ms. Lark last July, because I almost lost the chance to meet the wonderful and vast sea that is in them.

12) I realized that it looks that the foreigners attract each other.

 13) I realized that the last decision is always from the slave, he decides that if he wants to go to the bathroom alone, or not.

14) I learned that Mistress Lark respects the limits, and if she tries to stretch them, is because she feels that you are ready for it.

15) I realized that I can give wonderful foot massage.

16) I learned that to be a slave without Mistress, and to be a Don Juan are very similar, they both strive to please.

17) I realized that I need to stop being shy if I want to please like they do.

18) I learned that with Mistress Lark, nobody is left behind, even the slaves that don´t like themselves.

19) I learned that if we don´t have a pole for pole dancing, we have Paul to make it happen.

20) I learned that Mistress Lark has a great heart, but don´t try to eat her last banana.

 Thank you Mistress Lark for all these lessons that I learned with you.

I´m already looking forward to my next lessons. 

kisses at your sweet feet

Your escravo tiago.

I popped recently into interesting post about perfect full time slave. It seems that me and Mistress Milliscent share very similar view on how the servitude should look:

“I think that a slave’s time should be kept full. A slave living with me could expect to have his or her days filled with work for me. Not meaningless works like scrubbing a bathroom with a toothbrush, while such work might be delightful, it isn’t really work, and would be a reward for a slave not a service to his or her owner. Meaningful work is what I would expect, work that improved my life and my household. Not necessarily physical work either, intellectual work is of tremendous value in our society, and I would use a slaves gifts, talents, and education to the fullest…..”  read more  

I have always been trying to give some constructive tasks to my slaves, like nuts crashing, envelopes licking, helping me with my bondage shop etc… And I find it also a natural way of filtering the “wanna-be slaves” out – only the strongest ones, truly committed slaves stay…

My Happy Sissi Maid

Hello Mistress Joanna Lark

I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me to serve you and your friend Mistress Anath at Club Subversion last night. I hope you both had a good time and that i was of some use to both of you.

Although i have been going occasionally to fet clubs for a while i am still a bit ‘wet behind the ears’ when it comes to being a sub. i really appreciate your time and the efforts you made last night to make me a better slave. I can be quite erratic especially in clubs which is why I almost need a Mistress to keep me in check!

I learnt a bit more about myself yesterday. i felt really embarrassed when you made me wear high heels and that wig and initially my pride meant that I wanted to refuse however being under your orders meant that my natural sub instinct overruled my head and i felt compelled to follow your orders.

When you made me hold that dildo in my mouth i felt SO humiliated…but strangely also turned on. I guess you learn more about what you are into and what makes you ‘tick’ all the time…its just a constant state of evolution. What made the experience quite ironic is the amount of times in the past I have made girlfriends wear heels (when a lot of the time they didn’t want to) just to indulge my personal fetish and now thanks to you I got to discover first hand what it feels like…

With Mistress Anath, Tessa and few victims - Subversion LFW 2010

I felt bad that i didn’t let you both play with me properly, i had already been out for a good few hours at my friends birthday so probably wasn’t in an ideal mindset for intense play but i should have tried harder. I can take pain and like to please but I am more into the psychological side of D/s more than someone who actually ‘enjoys’ the sensation of pain. That being said I have been spanked a few times and have enjoyed the psychological mind set i am in when i am being punished so there is defiantly scope for this side of play.

I hope that i pleased you and that you will consider using me again (even if i do need a few stern words to get me to behave properly!) my personality isn’t really a natural sub – i can be quite loud and i am quite outgoing but you were amazing at bringing out the sub in me and i loved being under your control and feel that with the right guidance I can be really good sub.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and will hopefully speak to you soon.

Ollie x

Well – it depends where you are based.

If you go to Denmark, Sweden and now even to Norway you can enjoy kinky lifestyle without a fear of being taken to the mental care. You can even act like a kinky idiot from the Lars von Trier drama. Do you know why? Read more about  Ms Slide’s latest discovery…